MAMA, MAMI AND ME !!

I happened to read a poem on Infidelity wherein the writer had expressed the feelings in such a simple, yet effective manner. I could not help myself thinking about this.

She is affectionately called as Bambai Mami (Bambai means Bombay, the present Mumbai), Iyer Amma or simply Mami. Mami is a popular figure in the neighbourhood. Every household knows her. Mami knows what is happening in everybody's house. Most of the news comes to her directly from the houses, while the not-so-good ones comes from others, through her spies ! Be it a marriage, delivery, girls 'coming of age', progress in studies of children, who has affair with whom, whose business is affected, which house-owner 'tortures' his tenants, who has purchased what,…. Mami knew everything. As a child, we watched Mami with great wonder. She had the ability to manage things well, notwithstanding the problems she had to encounter in her own life. She would try to make things comfortable without much fuss. She successfully engaged in many things to keep her family going. Mami had a fairly big family and a big bunch of relatives who were looking forward for her help and assistance, both physically and financially, at the drop of hat. Mami never complained and somehow managed. Now 72, though studied upto middle school, Mami knows the intricacies of modern gadgets including mobiles, computer, tax planning, LIC policies, etc.

In sharp contrast, Mama was the one who maintains low profile. Having suffered huge losses in business, Mama was always a tense, pessimistic person who never made use of his strengths and it was left to Mami to take control of the family.

Having seen so much of testing times during my childhood, I was dead against marriage. Did not feel like entering into that 'trap' as a family meant 'troubles and difficulties'. It took Mami good effort to convince me. She explained that marriage does not necessarily means trouble and that life can be simple if one follows 'the essence of life'. (The story is posted separately.)


I further quizzed Mami that she has been facing all troubles in life and putting up with a person who did not try to give his best to his family. Mama was capable, but successive failures in life shattered him and made him sort-of-irresponsible. Mami just smiled and said with pride – All said and done, I KNOW THAT I AM THE ONLY LADY IN HIS LIFE ! THAT HONOUR WILL SUFFICE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE !! NO OTHER TROUBLE CAN BE AS DEADLY AND GIGANTIC AS THAT !!! So my boy, when you get married, doing your duty to your family means, you have to be true and sincere to your wife too. Always remember that.

Soon thereafter, I got married and still continuing to follow the story. Dunno why, the story created a deep impact in me. I have seen how infidelity has ruined the lives of two of my friends. While in one case, the husband had an affair with 2/3 other women, in the other case, the wife had an affair with her boss.

Today, the 23rd of March, Mama and Mami have completed 49 years of their married life and entering the GOLDEN JUBILEE. Old habits die hard, they keep fighting over petty things. Mama is down with all health problems and Mami, spirited as ever, taking care of him. They stay with their third son. With three of her other children at distant places, Mami has the added responsibility of taking care of their flats, taxes, insurance, periodically enquiring about their families and the welfare, networking with friends and relatives, making arrangements for the continuing stream of visitors, etc. Time goes on, but the story narrated by Mami will forever remain in my memory and make me a better husband, father and a better person in this society.

P.S. : Mama and Mami referred to above are my parents and today is their Wedding Anniversary.